Well fear not, I am here to be your guide
TREND 1: The Tie-Dye Shirt
Celebrity Hipster Representative: Sufjan Stevens, Dov Charney
Chances of Catching on (out of 10): 4
Commentary: After spotting these shirts on the front page of the American Apparel website and then at the Kutsher's gift shop during the ATP music festival, I thought maybe I was on to something. Unfortunately, if there's one thing hipsters hate more than construction on the L-train, it's being confused with a hippy.
Potential Derivative: Those Hypercolor t-shirts from the 80's
Have I Jumped on the Bandwagon?: No, unless you count the time I made a tie-dye shirt in 3rd grade
TREND 2: The Reverse Wristwatch
Celebrity Hipster Representative: Jason Schwartzman
Chances of Catching on (out of 10): 5
Commentary: I discovered HBO on-demand on my girlfriend's TV today and watched 4 episodes of "Bored to Death". Jason, for some reason, always wears his watch like in the picture above. Even weirder, I found the picture above from a website called FutureOfAds which I initially thought was FutureOFads (pure serendipity!). Unfortunately for this one, most hipsters get their Flight of the Conchords and other HBO shows off BitTorrent, and I'm just not sure you can actually catch this trend on your tiny Macbook Air computer screen.
Potential Derivative: A pocket watch chained to your skinny jeans
Have I Jumped on the Bandwagon?: No (see below)
[During surfing lesson]
Paul Rudd: "When I came to Hawaii, I stopped wearing a watch."
Jason Segel: "That's so cool."
Paul Rudd: "Well now I have a clock on my cell phone"
TREND 3: Nudity
Celebrity Hipster Representative: Maybe that guy from Deerhunter? (the band, not movie)
Chances of Catching on (out of 10): 0
Commentary: I'm not sure this one even qualifies, but streakers have been spotted in Williamsburg lately.
Potential Derivative: Streaking with a body suit George Costanza style
Have I Jumped on the Bandwagon?: No, but I am tempted
TREND 4: Animal T-Shirts
Celebrity Hipster Representative: Bret McKenzie
Chances of Catching on (out of 10): 9
Commentary: Animals are so "in" right now. Just look at the names of these indie rock bands: Animal Collective, Panda Bear, Deerhunter, Deerhoof, Caribou Vibration Ensemble, Super Furry Animals, The Jesus Lizard, Bridezilla... and these were just the bands at ATP Festival!
Potential Derivative: Dressing up in an animal costume
Have I Jumped on the Bandwagon?: Most definitely
TREND 5: Hipster Trendspotting
Celebrity Hipster Representative: Demetri Martin
Chances of Catching on (out of 10): 6
Commentary: If there's one thing hipster's love, it's NOT conforming to the mainstream while conforming to hipster culture (see: skinny jeans, mustaches, flannel, living in Williamsburg). Well how do you know how to conform to hipster culture so that when you go to that Grizzly Bear concert, people won't yell "BOO TEXAS!!" at you for wearing a Texas Longhorns t-shirt... what's wrong with these people? don't they know it's gameday? Would it kill them to turn on the TV at the bar to show the USC/Ohio St game??!
Potential Derivative: Setting your own trends instead of copying other people
Have I Jumped on the Bandwagon?: See title of this post
And now here is my list of things I wish hipsters would embrace in no particular order: the red river shootout, meat, glow-in-the-dark undergarments, hedge funds, midtown west, fu manchu mustache, LFO, the BCS, survivor (the show, not the band), croquet, me
